Friends

This may not come as a surprise but I don’t have very many friends. Fuck, I don’t have any friends. This dude I knew in college once said a real friend is someone who’d get up in the middle of the night to come bail you out of jail. I sure as shit don’t have any of those. Sarah never understood or liked my lack of friendships. Coming from a small town, and a family that loved her relentlessly, she couldn’t comprehend a man who isolated and kept to him self… on fucking purpose!

I told her it just meant I had more time for her. Which was 100% true. That worked for a while. But then Brad and his Beamer and parties on football Saturday swept Sarah back into a world she was familiar with.

Back to the friends thing… I’ve never had a lot of them. When I was younger, I hung out with a lot of dudes, had what I considered to be a best friend. Over the years, I had a few best friends. But in the end they all let me down. And I just kept moving on. Besides I was starting serious relationships with Jack, Johnny and Mary Jane. These amigos stuck with me through thick and thin. Ten years on they would fuck me over a barrel but that’s another story.

Groups of people at the agency like to hang with each other. Sometimes they invite me along. Mostly I say no, especially since I quit drinking. Once in a while, though, I go along to keep up appearances and to maybe get a piece of ass. If you hang around a herd of drinkers long enough you can usually nail a straggler.

I’m pretty sure these cliques of ad people think they’re great friends but it’s bullshit. As soon as one quits, gets promoted, or is fired, the rest of the group loses interest and the feeling is usually mutual. Matter of fact, I’d say few bonds are as tenuous as those created in an advertising agency. Not sure if it’s because we’re in a sleazy business or because everyone is uber-competitive or both. I just know come next year, 90% of your best buds won’t be. Might as well stop pretending you live in a hip sitcom and get used to it. I did.